Defiant Heart Read online

  When he was out of earshot, Toni expelled a long, slow breath. The woman was right. Hank wasn’t going to let her go, and, unless Fannie was mistaken, refusing him might be slightly more dangerous for Toni than George could ever be.

  She gave an involuntary shudder. “Think we ought to talk to Blake about this?”

  Toni shook her head. “No. Blake would figure I deserved whatever Hank has in mind. He won’t lift a finger against a man who hasn’t done anything wrong.”

  “Yet.”

  “Yeah…”

  Blake faced the onslaught of blue sparking at him from Fannie’s enormous eyes. He understood her fear of the crossing. The first time feeling the wagon wheels lose solid ground and being at the mercy of oxen who might or might not be able to pull together during the swim was disconcerting. Blake had seen his share of drownings, but usually those incidents were a result of carelessness either of the wagon master who had no business allowing a crossing of a rough, swollen river, or a driver who tried to rush across.

  “As long as you take it slow and let the oxen know who’s boss, you’ll be fine,” he said evenly, trying to reassure the young woman.

  “I already forked over my two dollars to Mr. White for a ride across, and I aim to get my money’s worth, Mr. Tanner,” she said with stubborn resolve. “I’ll meet you on the other side.”

  Tarnation, she was one difficult little woman. “Listen, Fannie. If I let you take the ferry, every woman feeling nervous about the crossing is going to force her man to pay money they can’t afford to ferry across. It’ll take us two days instead of half a day to get everyone over. We’ll lose more time we can’t afford to lose. The water is gentle, and there hasn’t been rain in several days according to Mr. White.”

  Stubbornness wilted into consideration and he held his breath. She gave a slow nod. “All right, Blake. I can see your point. I’ll do my best.”

  Surprise and admiration lifted in Blake’s chest.

  “I’ll get my wagon out of the line with the special wagons as soon as I talk to Mr. White and get my money back.”

  Blake placed a restraining hand on her arm. He knew better. Louis White would never refund her money. He’d take a bullet first. “It’ll save time if you get your wagon back in place in our line. I’ll get your two dollars.”

  “He charged me three,” she admitted with a sheepish blush of pink tingeing her cheeks, forcing her freckles to pop out in an attractive spray across her nose.

  “Why’d he do that?”

  “He said the extra people in our wagon would weigh down the ferry, and he had to charge more.”

  “And you paid it?” Only a greenhorn would fall for that kind of lie.

  “What other choice did I have?”

  “The same choice you have right now. Ford the river.”

  Anger shot to her eyes, and her mouth opened, ready to release an onslaught that Blake had neither time nor temperament to receive. He quickly covered her mouth with his hand. Her eyes widened with surprise. “Enough,” he said. “I’ll get your three dollars while you get yourself back in line.”

  Without a word, she yanked his hand from her mouth, swung around, and stomped back to the wagon.

  The memory of her soft, warm breath on his palm burned through Blake as he reached into his pocket, removed three bills, and prepared to hand them over to the bullheaded beauty. No sense in going through the motions of talking things over with Mr. White. As much as he hated the idea of parting with even two bits of the money he had saved to purchase supplies once he arrived in Oregon, he couldn’t take a chance on the grim scenario he’d painted for Fannie. They had lost too much time already between Hawkins and Fannie’s injuries. His heart stirred with unrest. The journey wasn’t a month old. There were at least five more to go, and already they’d been overburdened with problems. He could only hope…pray, even…that it would be smooth going from here on out.

  At the first odd feeling of the wagon swaying in the water as the bulky oxen made way through the rippling water of the Big Blue River, Fannie tightened with panic. She’d never learned to swim and neither had the twins. Her overactive imagination couldn’t shake the very real possibility that she might end up bobbing up and down in the water gasping, crying, begging for help, only to drown seconds before rescue came. That Blake Tanner. She just flat couldn’t bear the sight of him.

  Resentment overtook panic at the thought of Blake’s smug face when he handed back her three dollars from Mr. White. “Tuck this away and stop spending your money so recklessly if you intend to make a decent life out West for yourselves.”

  Then he’d ridden away without giving her a chance to tell him to mind his own business and that she and the twins would make out just fine, thank you very much.

  She was so worried about the water in general that she hadn’t even taken much time to worry about the fact that they were crossing into Pawnee country, according to Blake. His assurance that the Indians only wanted to trade and occasionally stole a bit of livestock didn’t make her feel any better. She’d banished the twins to the back of the wagon amid wild protests. But she sat firm on her bench next to Toni, who thankfully seemed calm and competent.

  “You’re doing well, Miss Toni,” called Sam Two Feathers from the right side of the wagon.

  Toni kept a firm grip on the reins and concentrated on the oxen. Her simple nod at the praise didn’t seem to offend Sam at all. Sam looked past her to Fannie. “It won’t be long, now, Miss Caldwell. Keep your eyes on the far bank, and you’ll be there before you know it.”

  “Thanks, Sam,” Fannie replied miserably. He gave her a smile and waved, then swam his horse back to the other shore to allow the next wagon to start across. Only two were allowed in the water at a time, but Willard James and his brood had just made it to shore ahead of them. Fannie envied the family and could not help but wish she’d been in their spot. Then they’d already be out of the water and on dry ground once more.

  Besides, her ribs ached with bruised tightness, and the motion of the wagon induced mild nausea that she feared would venture into full-blown vomiting before long.

  “We’re halfway there,” Toni said through stiff lips, as though reassuring herself as much as Fannie.

  “You’re doing good. Like Sam said.”

  “The oxen are getting tired. They’re slowing down.”

  Fannie’s heart picked up, but she refused to give in to the rush of fear. Now was the time to be strong for Toni’s sake. “They just have to work harder, that’s all. Don’t worry. We’re almost there.”

  Toni nodded, but the tension in her face didn’t relax.

  The oxen seemed to struggle less as they saw that their destination was within reach. They drew within a few yards of the bank, and Fannie began to relax. Just as it appeared all would be well, a scream and a splash split the air. “Kip!” came Katie’s wail. “Fannie! Help!” Fannie whipped around, half-hanging off the side of the wagon and saw Kip flailing in the water. She saw Blake and Sam headed toward Kip on horseback, but they were so far away they might as well have been in Hawkins. Fannie couldn’t imagine them getting to the boy in time. Without thought to the reality that she couldn’t even swim, Fannie stood. “I’m coming, Kip. Hang on.” Suddenly her feet left solid ground, and she was immersed in water, fighting a force to be reckoned with: her own inability to save her brother.

  Nine

  Two fierce emotions shocked through Blake within seconds of one another. First, relief, when Fannie stood in the wagon and he realized she was going after the boy. But in the seconds after she hit the water, another emotion stabbed at his gut: cold fear as he realized by her splashing about that the young woman had no idea how to swim any more than her brother.

  She disappeared under the water, then reappeared, reaching one slender hand in desperation. His heart nearly stopped at the sight. “Help!” she gulped, before sliding underwater once more.

  “Sam!” he called, sliding off Dusty and swimming furiously toward Fannie
’s panicked form.

  “I’ll get the boy,” he heard Sam call.

  There was no time to watch and make sure the scout reached Kip. Fannie dipped below the water’s surface once more. She didn’t have much time before the river claimed her for its own.

  Fannie hadn’t prayed in ages, but she prayed now. Don’t let Kip die. She felt herself sinking for what seemed like the hundredth time. Death didn’t scare her. Except that she didn’t want to leave the twins alone. She’d tried. She hoped they would know that she’d tried to save Kip, and she’d struggled to keep herself afloat. But it was no use. She knew she was drowning in the black, still water. Funny, it hadn’t seemed black before. It was green and blue and lovely if not fearsome. But now everything seemed black and cold and still…

  “Fannie! Wake up. Fannie!” Her cheeks stung as a heavy hand slapped at her. Then pounded her back. Her chest screamed as though it would burst any second, and she coughed and coughed.

  “That’s it,” someone called from far, far away. “Let the river come out of you.”

  The river? What was it doing in her? Oh, now she remembered. She’d drowned. “Am I dead?” she whispered.

  “What was that?”

  She recognized Blake’s voice but was still unable to connect with reality. “Did I get you killed too?”

  “Not quite.” His voice sounded gruff, and Fannie inwardly cringed. She hoped this wouldn’t be the last straw before he tossed her out on her backside. “Why’d you jump in if you didn’t know how to swim?” he demanded, as she opened her eyes and focused on the brightly lit world around her. No, she wasn’t dead. Hell would be hot and fiery, Heaven would be bright like this, but as hateful as he was, Blake probably wouldn’t be there. The thought gave her a second of grim satisfaction. Then she realized she hadn’t answered his question.

  “Kip was drowning.” With a gasp, she sat up, the blood rushing to her head and blinding her with a wave of dizziness. “Where’s Kip?” She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ward off the light-headedness.

  “I’m here, Fannie.”

  “Oh, thank God.” And she truly meant that. She’d prayed, and God had answered. When was the last time that had happened?

  “Lie down before you fall and hit your head on a rock.” Blake forced her back, surprisingly gentle, considering his tone. “How did you expect to save him when you couldn’t swim either? Are you weak in the head?” His voice bespoke frustration, and again Fannie’s stomach tightened with worry and a bit of her own frustration at the mounting insults.

  “I didn’t know. I didn’t really think about it, Blake.”

  “Well, maybe you should start thinking,” he snapped. “Instead of saving one person, we ended up having to save both of you. Barely.” He gave her a sharp look, allowing the last word to take effect before continuing. “Then where would Katie be? Alone, that’s where.”

  Fannie’s strength was beginning to return, along with a surge of anger. “You’ve made your point.”

  “I hope so. Because if you cause one more delay…”

  He left the sentence for Fannie to finish on her own and shoved to his feet. “Sadie, please look after her until she’s strong enough to walk back to her wagon. Kip, run and let Toni know Fannie’s going to be along later, then get started unhitching the oxen and turn them out for the night. We’ll push on in the morning.”

  Fannie refused to watch him leave. Refused to cry the bitter, angry tears that threatened just below the surface. And refused to give him the satisfaction of lying around camp all night nursing her aching body. She sat up. “I’ll get to my chores.”

  Sadie’s sudden burst of laughter shook Fannie to the core. “What’s so funny?” she demanded.

  “You’re not going nowhere, missy. Just lie back down on those hides and rest like Blake said, and I’ll bring you some strong, hot coffee.”

  “I’m perfectly able to pick up buffalo chips.”

  “Honey”—Sadie’s voice grew gentle—“I admire your gumption. But you’ve been through some pretty harsh ordeals lately. The best thing you can do for yourself and everyone else is to heal up and stop causing trouble.”

  “I don’t mean to cause trouble,” she mumbled, feeling the reprimand all the way to her toes.

  “I know that,” Sadie said, bringing a tin mug filled with rich-smelling brew and handing it to Fannie. Without asking, she helped Fannie sit up and settled her against a tall birch tree. “And in his heart of hearts, Blake knows it too. But this is his last train west. He didn’t bank on someone like you comin’ in and upsetting things. He’s pretty set in his ways, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

  Fannie gave a wry grin. “Only a blind, deaf dog wouldn’t notice.” As much as she hated to initiate any conversation that involved Blake, her curiosity got the better of her. “How come this is his last train?” She took a sip of the scalding coffee, trying to pretend she was only mildly interested.

  “It’s time for him to settle down and start thinking about his future.” The older woman gave her a look that made Fannie avert her gaze to the mug in her hands. “I suspect he’s looking for a wife.”

  Fannie gave a snort. “With his personality, he’d have better luck finding gold in Hawkins.”

  “Don’t sell him too short. Blake’s a good man. You should think about it.”

  Fannie’s throat tightened, and she swallowed her bite with difficulty. “You’re suggesting I marry Blake?”

  “Well, it wouldn’t hurt to set your cap for him. You could do worse.” She settled down with her own steaming mug. “So could he.”

  Had the woman lost her mind? “Miss Sadie, Blake hates me. He really does. First he didn’t want me coming on the train since I don’t have a man to take care of me. Then I forced him into it by showing up and threatening to follow along anyway. And I’ve caused him no end of trouble. If you’re suggesting he would think twice about me, you’re sorely mistaken.”

  Sadie gave a smug smile. “I’m rarely mistaken about these things, my dear.”

  “Well, you are this time.”

  They fell into silence. Fannie took a few more sips of the coffee, then set her mug aside. “I best get back to our wagon and check on Toni and the twins.”

  “Here, let me help you.”

  “Thank you,” Fannie said as she was hauled to her feet, more than helped.

  “You’re most welcome.” Sadie gave her a quick hug and turned her loose just as fast. “Before you go, I have a little gift for you.”

  “A gift?” Suspicion caused her to shrink back. She didn’t accept gifts, especially not from someone she didn’t even know. She’d had learned all too well that gifts usually demanded a hefty price. And she was through paying.

  But Sadie was already walking the few steps toward her own wagon. “Wait there.”

  “No, Mrs. Barnes, I couldn’t accept anything.”

  “Nonsense. Don’t be so suspicious.”

  Too stunned to move, Fannie remained where she stood until Sadie emerged seconds later and climbed down with something in her hand. She held out a beautiful pair of gloves. Fannie eyed the offering in wonder but didn’t reach for them. “Why are you giving these to me?”

  “I made them for you.” Sadie pressed the gloves into Fannie’s hand, and she had no choice but to wrap her hands around the soft leather.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Fine if you’re going to drag it out of me. Blake brought the deerskin a few days ago and asked me to make it into a pair of gloves for you so that your hands won’t blister and bleed once you start driving the team again.”

  Blinking, Fannie tried to wrap her mind around this startling revelation. “Blake?”

  “That’s right. And I happen to know he was saving that hide until he got a couple more, and I was going to make him a new buckskin shirt.” She gave Fannie another smug grin. “So you see…like I said before, you could do worse.”

  “But…why would he do that? He doesn’t even know me, let alo
ne fancy me that way.”

  “Blake’s got a heart as big as the West itself. The sight of your bloody hands likely did him in.”

  “I’ve never thought of him as having that big a heart.” As a matter of fact, from where she sat most of the time, she wasn’t sure he possessed a heart at all.

  “Well, you haven’t known him long, Missy.”

  “I don’t stick around to get to know a skunk when I see one either, but that doesn’t mean I can’t figure out that I don’t want anything to do with it.”

  A chuckle shook the woman’s shoulders. “Well, you got a point there. Nonetheless”—she nodded toward the gloves still clutched in Fannie’s hands—“would a skunk give up his hide for you?”

  Fannie walked carefully past the woman on her way back to her own wagon. “I wouldn’t want him to.”

  “You’re one stubborn young woman.”

  “My ma used to say that about me.” The pain of living a sweet memory pricked at Fannie. Usually, she pushed the memories aside at the first sting, but tonight, she pressed on. “Pa used to tell her, ‘Not stubborn, darlin’. Just determined. That attitude will get her far in life.’”

  “And has it?”

  Raising her chin against the very thought that this woman might be implying her pa was wrong about anything let alone his prophecy about her future, she sniffed. “Not yet, but that’s why I’m headed west. There’s no telling how far I might go.”

  “That’s true, Missy. You’re going as far as the trail leads. And when you get there, it’s up to you whether or not you carve out a good life for yourself or whether you fail and end up worse off than when you left.”

  “I can’t imagine anything could be worse than slaving away for Tom.”

  A far-off look softened Sadie’s eyes. “There are worse things.”

  Instinctively, Fannie knew not to pry, so she allowed the woman her private memories. “Good night, Miss Sadie,” she said pressing the woman’s work-roughened hand. “Thank you for taking care of me and for the gloves.”